Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
