Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
wow bdsm is so cute
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
