I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
