I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
