Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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