I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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