Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
