YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
