You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
