he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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