On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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