i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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