If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
