forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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