Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
