he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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