You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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