Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
