This is not my ceiling
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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