I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
