I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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