If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
