I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
