just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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