what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
