Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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