Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
