bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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