6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm at about main and main street
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
