I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
