As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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