Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
