One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
