I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
