before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
