Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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