I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
