i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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