Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
