I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
