Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
