and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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