And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
