I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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