So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize
