Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
