I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Panties = found
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
