and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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