Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
