I think my fart just growled at me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
