he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
